Grace Davis
What do you think most college seniors do as they enter their last year of university? Feel random bouts of excitement for their future, immense happiness because they’re almost done with 16th grade, feel an immense sense of panic and dread?!? I don’t know about you, but I fall under the last category, embarrassingly so. I’m currently a senior in Marketing and International Business, but I can’t help but feel a little bit (A LOT) of stress as my graduation nears. Technically, I should’ve graduated last spring, but when I see others my age who have graduated, I can only feel a sense of relief that that isn’t me. I consider myself to be very independent and mature; ready to take on the world and move abroad to start anew. However, the more I think about that possibility getting closer and closer, I catch myself wanting to run in the opposite direction to when all that was expected of me was coloring the prettiest pictures and naptime. I look at little kids on the playground, running around with their friends and wish that was me, instead.
What happened to all my dreams, my goals, my PLAN for the future? I do have things I want to do and be 5 years from now, but I’m scared to reach for them. Yet, now that it’s my last year, I’m getting involved in clubs/ extracurriculars, talking to professors for opportunities, and putting myself out there more than I ever would have thought. BUT, as soon as that spotlight is put on me… as soon as professors, family members, etc ask me how my last year is going and if I know what I’m doing post-grad, all those dreams, goals, and plans shrivel up into dust. It’s almost like I get stage-fright – I’m scared to move, speak, or even breathe, in fear of pointing myself in the wrong direction and taking the wrong path. If there’s one thing you need to know about me, it’s that I hate wasting time; I want to get my plan “right” the first time, but apparently, the best way I can do that is to just pretend it doesn’t exist. I don’t want to get it wrong, so much so that I’m considering grad school just so I can put off adulthood a little bit longer. As if I’m Nostradamus, famed for my ability to predict the future, I think I KNOW what my future holds and I’m only simply delaying its arrival. Honestly, though, that’s a silly notion to even consider; the future is almost never guaranteed for anyone and things can change. Putting off thinking about my future stresses me out more than thinking about the fact that I’m graduating does. I might as well do the responsible thing and be proactive about the present; what can I do ‘now’ to help me get to where I see myself in the future. If I get it “wrong” or end up going in a different direction, then ‘oh well,’ at least I now know I don’t want to do that particular thing anymore.
Some graduating seniors have a plan and a vision for their future, some might have absolutely no idea what they want to do post-grad, and the rest of us are probably like me – we fall somewhere in the middle, where we know, but we also don’t know. Personally, I think that’s the best place to be; be proactive, take risks and get involved in things you never would’ve previously considered, but also remember to be patient with yourself. The same way we support young kids moving from middle to high school and entering their teenage years, give yourself that same grace and support as you enter adulthood. And hey, if you really think about it, you’ve never been an adult before; we’re all practically baby adults (toddlers) right now, so let’s just hold our hands, sip some apple juice, and keep walking forward (or running, if that tickles your fancy more).
